Taking on the World

I went through the process of preparing my development plan for work. I pretty much committed myself to influencing the customer satisfaction rating of the teams. *sigh* Yeah right, as if one person can influence what our customers around the world think.

Things are being hurled at me one after the other. It has floored me several times this past week but I think things have picked up from how I was feeling last week. I managed to get one project that has been pending since March off the ground today.

Didn't matter if I had to go in to work today, at least the training session was pretty well received. I didn't conduct it but I fought hard to have this particular vendor conduct it for us since they are way much better than the one that we used to have. The training manager and I split up the logistics between the two of us. I got aprops from the consultants so I take it that I haven't botched up the job.

Next week, I have to go oversee sessions on Saturday AND Sunday. Actually, Saturday might also mean that I will be delivering a training session for another team. And it's possible that I would not get paid for those days. It's not a loss for me altogether since I will learn and pick up stuff that I can use some time in the future in the sessions that I will be handling.

I have a clearer mandate now but it means more work for me. I've always said that it's not the money that drives me but the learning and the fun. It still is true today and I hope it will carry me through.

rant
Results of my performance review...

What do you do when you learn that you have been working under the wrong assumption for the past seven months? Me, I'm not so sure that it has sank in yet.

I took this job primarily as a change of pace. I have been inside a classroom teaching and training for a year and a half previous to this post. It's not that I don't like teaching - I LOVE it! However, when it became too tedious and routine, I found myslef trying to break away from it. This is the reason why I decided to take on the quality assurance position in this company.

All along, my boss had different plans for me - plans that she did not communicate clearly. I thought that handling the soft skills training for the department is just an interim job while we are setting up the QA team. It was fine with me and I enjoyed pitching in to train whenever needed. Knowing that my position is under QA, my mindset is really on developing these ideas that are primarily QA functions.

I just had my performance review this morning without any real worries. I knew that I was working well enough with the people and that the job was of no major burden to me or anything. My review turned out to be consistently meets which was fine. When I asked her to clear up my focus and responsibilities, she dropped the bomb that I was hired primarily to be THE soft skills trainer. She recounted how she had to defend the creation of the position, etc. I am uncomfortable about this on several points.

First of all, I did not prepare my mindset to stay with soft skills. I am not too comfortable with soft skills training. My forte is more on the technical side of things. However, in this company, technical training is really technical requiring certification from Microsoft and other companies.

Second, soft skills is not a priority in this organization. I would need to sell my expertise and the idea of having a full time position of such skill in the organization. My boss had to go to the top just to defenc the need for this position. Now, I have to maintain that and reinforce my tenure by showing improvement in the numbers.

Third, with the prevailing attitude toward soft skills, I would need to be thick-skinned to face the barbs that are liable to be thrown my way. I do not like having to play office politics. However, if I want to keep my job with my reputation intact, I would have to be actively looking for alliances with those in the management team so that I can sell my expertise to all levels of the organization. There is enough politics on the higher levels of the organization and I do not want to get involved in it.

Fourth, No one here is going to watch my back with the risks that I would like to take in the position of the soft skills trainer. I have no resources to speak of and most of my resources can only be gotten through the people around me. That means that it is another round of politics. My boss backs me up all the way but she can only do as much.

I need to settle the thought first. I have a clear mandate from the boss to make sure that the program I am handling is smooth sailing and worth the time and money that they spent on it. This with virtually no resources to speak of!!! I even had to shell out MY OWN money (which I need for a hospital procedure) just so I can get it started. Given the chance, I would have been screaming my head off at this very moment! Gaaak!